The Girl Pt. 8

The Girl Pt. 8

I wandered through this week in a blur. Trying ever so carefully to keep my sanity. I had no idea what I was doing this whole week. I just made people stay out of my way. I didn’t need them. They all needed to disappear. They needed to die. A bloody, painful death. I could see it now. Terrified faces running away from a figure holding the cold gun. Smoke coming out, after the first bullet has been shot. Oh. What a lovely vision. I can smell the blood as each and everyone of these people die. I still couldn’t read Joshua’s letter. He still doesn’t want me to. I really wish he would let me though. I want to know what is inside it.
I need to know. It’s killing me not knowing. I don’t have anymore patience. It’s all run dry. But, for Joshua’s sake, I will listen to him. After all, he is the reason I’m still breathing to this day. I kissed the picture of him I had in my desk, and set it next to my bed. “ Good night.” I looked at the picture. His black hair slightly in his face. Trying to hide those beautiful eyes. I bet, he could’ve had any girl he wanted if I weren’t the only girl that got to see his eyes. I considered myself lucky. I never thought myself as pretty. Just ugly, and a waste of time.
I slept well. It was Monday. I awoke to Joshua’s picture. I smiled at it. “ It is soon time for them to die.” I laughed. “ Die die die!” I kicked off the blankets and dressed for school. Next Friday, I will murder my parents. Feel there fear. See it. Love it. Keep there fear in my cold heart. Watch them loose their breath. Hear their screams. Oh. Death has it’s hold on me. I’m addicted to the death’s around me. I looked in the mirror this morning. Brushing my long hair. That’s it when I saw Joshua’s ghost. Standing right behind me! My eyes widened. “ Joshua!!” He was grinning. Looking at me. “Hello.” He grinned at me. His ghost came up, and put his arms around my waist. “ My, my… you sure will be able to kill a few with your looks.”  I just stared in the mirror in disbelief. He was here! Joshua was here! AGAIN! But this time, he’s talking to me… so I can see him.  “Uhm… I..” His ghost kissed my cheek. He disappeared. I felt myself wanting to cry. I wanted to cry so badly right now. Forget school. Forget it all. Just let me cry. Something inside me told me not to. I went downstairs, grabbed a pop tart and my keys. “ Emily, dear.” I looked at my mother. “Yes?” She took a sip of coffee. “ Can you pick up milk on your way home?” I looked at her. “ What am I? A shopping service?” She shook her head. “ Never mind. Go… Just fucking go.”
I loved pissing her off. You wont be breathing for long you bitch! I drove to school. Watching my classmates walk into the building with smiles, friends, lovers. It won’t be long until their world will crumble. I couldn’t get myself out of the car though. I saw… the past.

“ Always remember, we protect each other.” Joshua would say. Grabbing my hand as we walked into the school. “ We only need each other. These assholes don’t get our head. They’d label us as crazy.” I laughed. “ You seem to have everything  figured out.” He nodded. “ We..” He corrected me. “ We have everything figured out.” We walked together to our locker.

I had to fight back tears all day today. This was unlike last Friday. I felt powerful. Like nothing could bring me down. Yet, here I sit… attempting to hold back tears. Then, it came to me. I did not even know who even hit the car, the day of the accident. Was that life still wandering the streets? Everyone stared at me when I walked in. As if I’ve changed. To me… my looks haven’t changed. But, Joshua said I looked good. What the hell? I glared back at the students. I didn’t have to fight my way through the hall. They all moved as I came. They were scared. I could tell. There eyes watching me. Wondering what is going on through my head. Was I sane? Was I insane? Misunderstood? Evil? Truth is, I am a combination of all three of those things.